Don't Let Go
by Sapphire
Summary: CD's death brings unexpected results.


The two walked from CD's, supporting each other as always. She could tell he was thinking about more than CD and he could tell she was thinking about more. "Gage, do you want to talk? I kinda don't want to be alone right now." "Sure, I'm not looking forward to it either." They turned and watched as Trivette came out of CD's and disappeared into the night. "I feel awful. I wish there was more we could do. Alex is still in shock, Trivette needs someone, and Walker's grieving and taking care of Alex. Something's gonna break, but if we interfere anymore, I just wonder if we're overstepping our boundaries." "Trivette'll end up at his apartment or with Josie and Alex and Walker will go home soon. Don't worry, Syd. We can't do anymore to help, but it does hurt seeing them hurting." Once Syd arrived at her apartment, while she waited on Gage, she checked her teenage daughter, Grace, to make sure she was okay. Syd found her lying in bed, her pillow soaked with tears where she had cried herself to sleep again. Syd quietly left the room as Gage entered the apartment. Gage looked puzzled at his partner while she shook her head and pulled him over to the couch by her. "What's wrong?" "Walker losing CD, it would be like me losing you. Alex and Trivette, it would be like losing Walker. I can't understand my own daughter. She's known him for two months and she's cried herself to sleep since I told her." "She'll be okay, Syd. She's scared. Think about what's happened since you guys moved here." They both thought back over a year's events. Walker losing his sight temporarily, Alex being kidnapped twice, Trivette mercifully had maintained his health and had not even been kidnapped, Gage had been attacked by the bear and beaten up pretty bad, Syd had been kidnapped twice, hit on the head, and shot. "All her Dallas Family except for Trivette has been hurt or kidnapped. Almost no one she knows is invinsible, not even Walker or CD." "Gage, I've been thinking for the last two weeks. We never know what's going to happen to us or when we're going to die. It took CD's death to make me realize how I would want to spend my last days." "How?" "With you and Grace both safe and in my life. I'm sorry about kicking you. I wasn't able to handle things right then, especially with every cop in Sage City watching us. If you still want me, I'd really like to try this thing." "Syd, I've got three things in my life I can't live without. One's Jul, one's you, and the other's Grace. You three are my family. I figured this out when I almost died last May. I don't want to let go. Don't want to be without you." Syd reached over and said, "Do you know I said you'd be able to tell when I gave you a real kiss?" Gage nodded. She sat over in his lap and kissed him. He gently retaliated, following her movements, not letting go. When she let go, she smiled at him and said, "See what I mean?" "Not quite, want to show me again?" They ended up both sleeping on the couch, safe, warm, and alive. They had learned what life was really all about and neither had any desire to let go. 

When Alex and Walker reached the ranch, she mechanically got ready for bed while he sat on the sofa. About one o'clock in the morning, Alex woke up and realized Walker wasn't there. She wrapped a blanket around her and walked out to the barn where Walker was stroking Ranger's nose. "Walker?" He turned to face her, eyes red and crying. "What are you doing out here? You need sleep, Alex." "No, I'm not going back in without you. Come on, darling, let's go sit on the couch and talk." Walker leaned against his wife for support and sat on the couch while she made coffee. "I can't believe that he's gone. He was my first partner as a Ranger. He's been through everything with us. I can't help you or Trivette go through this, I can't even help myself. His heart was so big, so giving. After Uncle Ray and my parents died, CD was all I had, until you. I can't... He's missed what he wanted more than anything else, our wedding. He'll never know our children. He was…now he's gone forever. I can't accept it. I won't accept it. What if I lose you or Trivette? I couldn't take that, I couldn't take loosing anyone else in my life." "Walker, he's here with us right now, he's in our hearts. Trivette and I aren't going anywhere, and even if we were, you know that we're a part of each other, for richer or poorer, in sickness and even after we're dead. The love we have will always be with us." He laid his head on her shoulder and she covered them up with a blanket and they slept.

That night, Trivette drove all over Dallas to the places with memories of CD. He ended up buying several cases of beer and miraculously made it to his apartment. When he got into the apartment, the phone was ringing. "Trivette, are you okay? Can I do anything for you?" "No, wanna be alone, by myself. Leave me the hell alone!" Josie hung up the phone, tears in her eyes, and let him alone. Trivette drank into the night and threw things all around. The next morning, when Josie called again, he didn't answer, so she called Sydney. 

The phone rang at nine that morning and Syd reached to answer it. "Hello?" "Sydney, it's me, Josie. I'm scared." "Why? What's wrong?" "Trivette sounded drunk last night, told me to leave him alone, and this morning he doesn't answer." "Okay, I'll tell Gage. Someone'll go check on him. Don't worry." Gage looked at her puzzled. "Josie said that Trivette was drunk last night, and doesn't answer this morning. Can you go over to check on him, just to make sure." "Sure, where are you going?" "I'm going to go sit with Josie. She's scared." "Okay." He kissed her goodbye and drove to his friend's apartment to check on him. 

When Gage got to Trivette's, he found the door unlocked and went in. The room was a litter of bottles and cans, Trivette was passed out on the couch, not moving. He reached for the phone and called Walker. "Walker, sorry to bother you this morning, but I need some help with Trivette." "I'll be right there. Where's Sydney? I don't want Alex to be alone." "Syd's over with Josie at the HOPE house." "Okay, I'll drop Alex off there and be at Trivette's in about thirty minutes." Gage hung up and called Sydney. "Gage?" "Yeah. He's passed out drunk. Walker's going to drop Alex off with you and come help me." "Are you okay?" "Yeah, wait…" Trivette woke up and took a swing at Gage. "What the hell are you doing here? I told Josie I want everybody to leave me alone! I mean everybody." Trivette took another swing at Gage, but Gage dodged it and subdued Trivette until he sat back on the couch, staring off into the distance. "Gage? Gage!" "It's okay, Syd. Trivette's a little upset right now." "Upset? It sounded like World War 3 in there." "Well, it might be if Walker doesn't get here fast. You, Josie, and Alex stay there and DON'T WORRY. Okay? Everything's going to be fine." "All right. Be careful." "I will." Syd hung up and prayed for Walker, Trivette, and Gage to be okay.

After Walker deposited Alex with Sydney and Josie, he drove to help his partner and his friend. "Gage?" "Yeah, Walker. In here." "What's wrong with him?" "He's drunk." "Okay, I'll make Cherokee Purge and you get him some clean clothes." Walker led Trivette to stand in the shower, fully clothed, while Gage turned the cold water on him. "Quit! Turn that mess off!" Walker said, "You're going to take a cold shower, change clothes, drink some Cherokee Purge, and sober up. Gage, Sydney, and I love you, but you're not going to act like this, do you understand me? I don't care what it takes to get you sober, you will be sober and apologize to Josie for last night." "You don't understand! No one understands!" "What, I don't understand what it's like to lose CD? He was my first partner as a Ranger, he meant as much to me as he did to you." "But you have Alex! Gage has Sydney! I don't have anyone!" Gage spoke up, "You're wrong. You have Alex and Sydney, who are sitting with Josie worried sick about you. You have Walker and me, who are trying to get back the old Trivette, our friend, not what you're acting like. My parents were killed by a drunk driver, I know what alcohol can do to someone. You're one of my closest friends, I don't want to lose you. You have someone else, too. You have Josie, who was so worried about you she called Syd this morning terrified you were hurt. CD's still with us, he's in our heart and he's looking down from heaven. You know what else? If he was here, he would kick your butt!" Gage turned the water off and Trivette walked to change clothes. When he came back to the kitchen area, Gage had made lots of coffee for everyone and Walker had some Cherokee Purge ready. While Trivette drank it, Gage whispered, "What's Cherokee Purge anyway?" "It's an old Indian remedy for drinking. White Eagle taught me to make it. He'll sober up in a few moments." 

Sydney sat in the HOPE office by the phone while Josie and Alex were on the couch near the door. The phone rang and they jumped, startled. "Yes?" "Syd, he's fine. Walker's made some Cherokee Purge for him that seems to work." "Thank goodness. Are you and Walker okay?" "Yeah, tell Alex Walker's on his way to pick her up. Oh, and tell Josie Trivette needs to talk to her." "Just a minute, she's right here." Sydney handed the phone to Josie and told Alex what Gage had said about Trivette and Walker. 

That night, Josie stayed with Trivette, just making sure he was okay and listening to him, just being there. Alex and Walker went home and looked at old photo albums and laughed about things that had happened with their friends. Gage went back to Sydney's, ate pizza, played games with Syd and Grace, and fell asleep with his arm around Sydney's shoulders.

A week after the wake, CD's was back open, ready for business. Alex, Walker, Gage, Sydney, Josie, and Trivette were the first ones there. Alex and Walker were laughing and joking again. All the group could tell Gage and Sydney were dating, but wanted to take their time saying anything about it. Josie and Trivette were inseperable outside the office. Trivette had finally realized that he had someone to lean on. Alex commented, "We have to make the best of everyday we have and just be happy we have each other."


End file.
